Tuesday, 9 July 2013

Little darling, it's been 3 years since you've been gone...

Yes, I'm talking about the sun. Or to be more accurate, summer. I truly think it's the first time in at least 3 years we've had anything which actually resembles summer here in the UK.

And how best to spend it? Well asides from spending far too much time dressed all in black for the various concerts I've been taking part in over the past week, I seemed to feel it appropriate to appreciate the summer weather from the hot streets of London. Ahem.

Well it wasn't quite the sudden heat which inspired the trip, but Anne and I did venture up to Brick Lane on Sunday and despite the heat making it all rather tiring, we did have a lovely time. And I got some new sunglasses, yay! But the highlight of the day for me had to be the pina colada in a pineapple.

the pineapple :')

Monday, 1 July 2013

Long distance relationships

There's a general belief, constantly perpetuated in films, tv shows and books, that long distance relationships don't work and that people who believe they can are merely being naïve. No doubt, this belief is not baseless, but I see long distance as more of a way of testing a relationship than dooming it. Being young and eager to go out and see the world, I'm determined not to give up opportunities to travel and study in interesting places for a relationship because I don't want to look back and blame someone else for the things I missed. This doesn't mean however, that I'm about to give up on a good relationship just because one of us is going away. The test is, is the relationship strong enough to survive the time spent apart? And to justify the risk of future heartache which comes with embarking on a long distance relationship, I've come to the conclusion that to have a chance of working, the relationship needs two things.

1. Strong foundations. You know those friendships where it doesn't matter if it's weeks, months or years since you last saw each other or even spoke to each other, your friendship is just as strong as ever whenever you do see each other. Well I'm a strong believer that boyfriends/girlfriends/partners/fiancée's/husbands/wives should be your best friend as well as your lover and this factor seems to be absolutely key to lasting through something like being a thousand miles apart. So following this line of argument, yes I would agree that if your relationship is based on two intense weeks of feeling in love with someone who you just met, the long distance thing probably doesn't stand much of a chance. In other words, the Edward and Bella cliche would never work in real life (not even just because vampires don't exist). 
2. Devotion. And frankly, this shouldn't be hard work - if it is, it probably just means you're not ready. Certainly though, if you find yourself constantly wondering what it would like to be with someone else and have the feeling that you're tying yourself down, then yes the chances are that on the nights you're feeling lonely, or sexually frustrated, or a bit of both, you're probably going to find the whole loyalty thing fairly impossible.

And the reason I see long distance as a test? These are things that I hope to have in a relationship anyway. Without these two things, sooner or later, it'll probably fall apart with or without the distance. Distance seems to be more of a catalyst in this case - it doesn't doom the relationship, it just brings it to and end faster. So my conclusion and my advice, embrace distance because life's going to have its ups and downs further down the road anyway and if your relationship can survive the distance now, then hopefully it'll be able to survive the ups and downs later, when breaking up and moving on would be far harder, far messier and far more painful. Oh and when you get to see each other again, its doubly special because of the time you spent apart.